This past Sunday, August 16, 2015 I was engaging in my Sunday morning pastime of listening to “On Being” with Krista Tippett. This particular Sunday she was chatting with Katy Payne.
Katharine 'Katy' Boynton Payne (born 1937) is a researcher in the Bioacoustics Research Program at the Laboratory of Ornithology at Cornell University. In 1999, she founded the lab's Elephant Listening Project. (Wikipedia)
Mrs. Payne had spent her life not only raising four children but also observing and listening - in many ways joining their community - to elephants and whales. Much as it seems true for blind people, she has spent a lifetime practicing listening by paying attention to the vibrations (my word associated with oral communication not only with human but also with whales and other animals. She has discovered that at a wave frequency not normally heard by humans (below 20 Hz) not heard by most human’s animals such as elephants and whales communicate. Most of we humans, unless be are blind or have specifically trained ourselves otherwise, do not notice or attend to these vibrations. Bioacoustics researchers attend to the communication of animals that most of us do not experience.
In her study of the communication patterns of elephants she, in the spirit of Margaret Mead and other social scientists, has observed the familiar and communal patterns of elephants. She has observed about elephants:
· The females have a huge sense of responsibility.
· When culling or other means/purposes destroys a community, the remaining elephants seem to become belligerent and depressed.
· Other that being the co-progenitor the males is not involved in caring for/nurturing the females of the family/community. In fact for the most part females are the cores of the community. Elephants are a matriarchal community.
· Elephants (mostly females) grieve over the death of a youngster in their community.
· Community is multi-generational.
· Even if they have only been apart for a few hours when they rejoin each other they passionately greet each other – their level of excitement as evidence by verbal communication, movement, urinating and defecating is as if they have come together after a long absence.
· The males other than donating their sperm are largely concerned with competition.
Mrs. Payne is also a Quaker. Most readers will be familiar with the Quaker custom (Buddhist have a similar custom) of sitting quietly together listening in the silence for that inner voice or voice of their neighbor. As an acoustic biologist who is also a female, she has honed her listening and observation skills to both observe and learn from the animals she has studied/spent time with.
Unlike what appears to be true for the elephants, whales and other animals, it would seem that theoretically we humans have the capacity to develop and hone skills which may be more natural for the opposite gender. There may also be a larger range of differences across the gender lines. For examples, many men I know are more naturally nurturing than their females partners. This is true, in my experience, in men regardless of their sexual orientation. I say this because the stereotype of the gay man is that he is more sensitive and nurturing than the average heterosexual man. Whether it is a positive or a negative many women have also learned to compete in the world of business and finance in what was considered a very masculine manner.
I would also like to believe that we males are perfectly capable of learning to listen. In my work with couples and families I have guided many men in practicing the art of listening without offering advice or solutions. Still, I must say that this does not seem to be a “natural” talent of most of we men.
So what are the lessons Ms. Payne has reminded me of which which I wan to share with the reader and myself?
· We humans and many other animals are communal beings. Whether the “goal” is raising and nurturing the young or using the “excuse” of competition we seem to have a need to be in community. Parker Palmer in his book A Hidden Wholeness…. suggests:
o The journey toward inner truth is too taxing to be made solo: lacking support, the solitary traveler soon becomes weary or fearful and is likely to quit the road.
o The path is too deeply hidden to be traveled without company: finding our way involves clues that are subtle and sometimes misleading, requiring the kind of discernment that can happen only in dialogue.
o The destination is too daunting to be achieved alone: we need community to find the courage to venture into the alien lands to which the inner teacher may call us.
Read more at http://www.beliefnet.com/Inspiration/2004/10/Sitting-In-Circles.aspx#jg9gwpRDPgjAUGi3.99
Beliefnet.com
· We need to hone our skills of listening to our inner voices, the voices of each other and the voices of the rest of creation.
· Whether it is music, dance/movement, art or other forms of communication community requires that we show up and we listen.
· There may be a direct link between depression, anger/belligerence and disruption of community.
· Lastly but not least, there are no “dumb” animals. Whether it is the music of the whales, the simple truth of the developmentally different, the sounds we do not hear but only feel or the dance of a blade of grass we have much to share with and learn from each other.
· We must have enough ego strength or self-confidence to be comfortable with knowing and not knowing.
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